A heist disguised as a gig. The party plays a band. The band plays the opening set for a celebrity. The celebrity is the cover for stealing a superweapon. Designed for 3-5 characters around level 5-7. Single session, 4-5 hours if the players really enjoy a stage.
The setup
The Gnomish City State of Glomperstomp has been at war with the neighbouring nation of Voor for as long as anyone in the bar can remember. Both sides hate it. Neither side will stop. So the leadership of Glomperstomp does what leadership does in long wars: it stages distractions. In this case, a 15th birthday party for the Duke’s nephew, with hired entertainers.
The party arrives in Glomperstomp expecting a paying gig. They get briefed on the actual job by a small handful of people:
- Duke Poppodof Crassili — Smiling, harried, signs off on the contract without reading it
- Pantsy Crassili — The 15-year-old nephew. Wants the band to play “something Voorish, ironically”
- Captain Crinkle von Bloonder — Leader of the human army of Glomperstomp, the actual benefactor; cold, efficient, will show up only in private to brief the party on the real mission
- Hoosie Marinade — Event coordinator, man on the inside at the Voorish encampment. Sympathetic to Glomperstomp; doesn’t want the weapon used; would prefer to see it destroyed entirely
The real job
Voor has just finished prototyping a new innovation in magitechnical engineering: a gatling gun, powered by bound elemental fire and clockwork.
Captain Crinkle wants the prototype stolen so Glomperstomp can reverse-engineer it. He’d also love it if the party blew the entire innovation laboratory while they were in there. To that end, he provides three vials of delayed fireball — uncork, get out within five minutes, run.
Hoosie Marinade has secured the cover: the party is the opening act for the legendary singer Candy Crinkles at the Voorish military encampment’s celebration of the new superweapon. They’ll perform on a stage inside the encampment. The job happens between sets.
The location
Voorlich Military Encampment. Five thousand soldiers strong. Walled, patrolled, alarmed. The big celebration is happening because Voor wants to show off the gatling gun to its allies and call the war essentially won.
Layout sketch, in order of usefulness for the heist:
- Stage and back-of-house — where the party performs and stages the heist from
- Officers’ quarters — where the Chief Magiscience Officer sleeps and keeps the safe
- Innovation laboratory — where the gun is being assembled; target for the delayed fireball
- Sewer access from a basement utility room — the basement escape route
- The roof — visible to patrols but the rooftops connect; the prepared escape
The security
- All exterior doors and windows are locked and alarmed at night
- 3 guards patrol by night, 5 by day, all 5th-level fighters with sword + hand crossbow + signal whistle
- A whistle blast summons 2-4 reinforcements within 30 seconds
- The prototype is in a combination safe in the Master Bedroom. The combination is known only to the Primary Target.
- The safe is warded with a Glyph of Electricity (1d10 lightning damage to anyone touching it without the keyword). The glyph also triggers a silent alarm keyed to Security and the Primary Target.
- The keyword is known only to the Primary Target.
The targets (in order of who to lean on)
Chief Magiscience Officer Nimo Plastenschteinder (Primary) A gnome of about 80 — pompous, vain, intellectually impressive, socially insufferable. Will be at the celebration in full ceremonial uniform, getting drunk on Voorish ice-wine and lecturing anyone within earshot about elemental binding. Knows the safe combination and the glyph keyword. Either has to be charmed, drugged, robbed, or replaced (with a very convincing illusion) for the heist to work cleanly.
Gyush & Gizek (Secondary — Heads of Security) An ettin. Two heads, two minds, one job. Gyush is the cautious, ex-soldier head: drinks only on his nights off (Tuesdays and Thursdays), gambles too much, suspicious of why a magiscience officer pays his security triple the rate, but needs the money for retirement. Gizek is the impulsive one and would happily kill a stagehand on a hunch. They argue. The party can exploit this.
Hector (Tertiary — Watchman) Human, 31, ex-soldier, addicted to amphetamines. Spends nearly all his pay on speed. Hides it from Gyush so far. Blackmailing a local excommunicated cleric to keep his own secrets safe — this is a thread the party can pick at if they want a pressure point.
The encore
When the heist goes sideways (and one of these always does), the party gets back on stage to play their second set as if nothing happened. Candy Crinkles is real and will be furious if the party is late for her introduction. She’s a 7th-level bard with a permanent Suggestion on every member of her crew. Don’t make her angry.
The escape
Three options, in roughly increasing levels of “Captain Crinkle did not pay you enough for this”:
- The Roof. Best option. Pre-planned rendezvous on a rooftop two buildings over.
- The Basement. Connects to the sewers. A reasonable option, but the sewers haven’t been mapped, and the party may emerge somewhere they did not intend.
- The Front Door. Run-and-gun. Loud, messy, dangerous. Will involve fighting the celebration guests, several of whom are higher-level than the party.
The payoff
100,000 gold pieces on delivery of the prototype to the Glomperstomp border, paid by Captain Crinkle.
Probably.
The betrayal
One of three people will betray the party at the rendezvous. Pick whichever feels right at the table:
- The Duke — wants the gun for himself, plans to overthrow his own military leadership
- Captain Crinkle — never intended to pay, plans to silence the party to keep the operation deniable
- Hoosie Marinade — actually a Voorish counterintelligence asset; the whole job was a trap to identify Glomperstomp’s spy network
Whoever it is shows up smiling. The fight that follows is the closer.
Run notes: this one rewards letting the party invest in the bit. Have them name the band. Have them write a setlist. Have them bicker about who plays the encore if it comes to that. The heist works because the cover is committed to. So is the table.